Title: Loneliness
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Summary: Rodney had never felt lonely before, but now it was getting harder to come to his quiet, sterile quarters and leave John and Celo behind.
Author’s Note: A bonus story for the fic Celo.


Rodney walked into his quarters and dropped his radio headset on the table. He shed his fleece and shoes and pad barefoot to the kitchen area and set the coffee maker going, before pulling out one of his powerbars. He had it unwrapped and ready to go and had time to go to the toilet before the coffee was ready to go. His momentum carried him through until he was sat on his bed, coffee in one hand, powerbar in another and a folder full of statistics and results from the latest sensor array experiments before he had a chance to think.

The thing was, it was getting harder and harder to come here. It was too quiet, for one, and too sterile. Plain grey walls, where John’s quarters were glass and variegation from the water. Silence where John’s quarters were filled with noise – the gentle sound of Celo in the water, the music he plays almost constantly, the sound of John moving and existing. Even the few times he’s gone there alone there has been something there that makes the place less lonely, like John could walk in at any moment.

He’s never felt like this before. M. Rodney McKay has always been a creature of habit, a solitary person for so long it may as well have been congenital. It was strange to find himself suddenly missing others when he was alone, when it had always been a comfort to him before. He wasn’t sure he liked it.

He sat back against the wall, statistics discarded and coffee cooling rapidly. He felt irritable, suddenly, restless, like he could jump out of his skin at any moment. He considered and discarded the thought of doing something – there were a few games on the intranet now, or he could watch one of the movies that he had stashed away, or had been uploaded and shared. That wasn’t what he wanted.

His radio chirped in the corner, and Rodney answered it out of habit. He relaxed against the wall, tension draining away with a smile as John’s voice came through, inviting him over for the evening. He picked out a movie that moments ago had been unpalatable, and dug out one of the last few strawberry powerbars that were John’s personal favourites. He also picked up the statistics, knowing that John wouldn’t mind him working during the evening. He was out the door in less than a minute, on his way to spend the evening with John and Celo.